Lost in Losses

Recently I lost my grandmother who helped raise me along with my single mother and I've been feeling a bit alone, so I decided to write some poetry regarding this loss. The next few days I will share some happy memories, so this feed and blog isn't filled with just the sad parts of my life. 

Life seems to be swallowing me whole.

With no intention of spitting me out.

Life has taken so much from me.

And it seems that the emptiness has consumed me,

Consumes everything I touch.

I've lost so many people in my life; of those people my mother, and now my grandmother who helped my single mother raise me.

I'm scared of turning corners for the fear of facing death or loss at every turn.

As a woman losing the two women who raised me has left a giant empty hole inside me.

I've lost my identity and I've lost what seems like the only two people who believed in me and my craft.

I try to fill the emptiness with pursuing my dreams and theirs but not having those two people to share those dreams with, now carries no meaning.

Even though those dreams are built on a legacy they feel empty now without being able to share them with the people who believed in me.

So now I'm consumed with being lost in these losses.

I don't know how to pull myself out of here.

I don't know how to move forward in a life that does not include you.

I don't know how to celebrate my successes since I can't share those with you.

I struggle to figure out who I am without you.