#Tales.Born.From.A.Dumpster
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Tales.Born.From.A.Dumpster

Lost in Losses

1/18/2023

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Recently I lost my grandmother who helped raise me along with my single mother and I've been feeling a bit alone, so I decided to write some poetry regarding this loss. The next few days I will share some happy memories, so this feed and blog isn't filled with just the sad parts of my life. 
Life seems to be swallowing me whole.

With no intention of spitting me out.

Life has taken so much from me.

And it seems that the emptiness has consumed me,

Consumes everything I touch.

I've lost so many people in my life; of those people my mother, and now my grandmother who helped my single mother raise me.

I'm scared of turning corners for the fear of facing death or loss at every turn.

As a woman losing the two women who raised me has left a giant empty hole inside me.

I've lost my identity and I've lost what seems like the only two people who believed in me and my craft.

I try to fill the emptiness with pursuing my dreams and theirs but not having those two people to share those dreams with, now carries no meaning.

Even though those dreams are built on a legacy they feel empty now without being able to share them with the people who believed in me.

So now I'm consumed with being lost in these losses.

I don't know how to pull myself out of here.

I don't know how to move forward in a life that does not include you.

I don't know how to celebrate my successes since I can't share those with you.

I struggle to figure out who I am without you.
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Why I'm starting this blog. . .

1/17/2023

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Over the last few years, I feel like I've slowly been losing pieces of myself, then over the summer I got Covid. Ever since I had Covid I feel like mentally I've become a shell of my former self. My anxiety has been through the roof to the point where just saying hi to people can leave me with anxiety wondering if I did or said something wrong even though it was a simple conversation.  I know this is just my brain playing tricks on me, but it still doesn't change the fact that every day is a struggle. It has been an uphill battle everyday finding the motivation to just get out of bed and do everyday tasks. I've also lost a bit of my passion for the things I love and enjoy in life like fitness and dance. I used to dance for hours in the studio by myself and would work on choreography, but I've lost that passion. I want to find that passion again and feel comfortable with being vulnerable in my art form again. I'm hoping that with creating this blog it allows me to explore my passions again while also telling my story and working through the things that have impacted my life's journey both negatively and positively.
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Welcome!! My 1st entry =)

1/12/2023

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One of my mom's favorite sayings was "Not everyone was born in the princess room" & I would always finish that remark with "I was born in the pizza box that fell out of the dumpster" worn, used, run over, and overlooked. Let me explain, my mom didn't have the easiest life and she used humor to pull herself out of said dumpster time and time again (I also developed that same sense of delf deprecating humor towards life's travesty's.) Some may have seemingly perfect lives (the princess room) but for all we know the inside of that room could be on fire while others like myself and my mom that fire is visible for all to see despite our efforts to conceal it. Even if the inside of the princess room is on fire, I always wondered what the princess room was like, just to catch a glimpse of life from a different perspective where my fire wasn't ablaze for all to see. I get told all the time how strong and resilient I am. I'm tired of hearing this but I think I would have given up a long time ago if I was used to contained chaos instead of the dumpster fire I've grown accustomed to so maybe that's why I was born strewn from the dumpster, I'm meant to handle life's challenges both contained and chaotic. In true fashion I've followed in my mom's footsteps (with a few happier turns learning from her misfortunes but have had similar struggles). This is where my story begins and where it's born. Welcome to my blog and my journey as I figure this life out and take my dumpster struggles and try to make them into something miraculous.

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    Anonymous Author

    "Not everyone was born in the princess room" -my momma

    Sharing my life story through a series of poems, hard truths, and movement.

    TRIGGER WARNING:
    Sharing my story includes stories of emotional abuse, eating and body image disorders, and discussion of depression and anxiety.  Sending love & strength. Always open to talk. I firmly believe we need to be more kind to each other and support each other more! Life is too short to anything other than kind. Leave this world better than we found it <3

    SHOP Merch

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